Nice job. A little unclear about her age, though.

This is well written. I’d like to know more about the central character and her relation to the baby, though. I don’t understand the “lifetime of servitude” part. Does she feel like she’s losing her friend?

I love the way that at first it seems as if the main character is the one having the baby. It shows you how she feels, because when you find out she isn’t, you feel a burden lifted, but you also feel dissapointed that it isn’t her.

I like the stream-of-consciousness, but I think it could use at least one break – particularly in between where the reader thinks it’s her baby & where the discovery is made that it’s not. A sequel would be very good, by the way.