Why environmentalists should be fighting in Iraq

by Fyora Cartagan

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Disclaimer: This has absolutely no scientific basis.

This must be stopped! The carbon footprint of an exploding human body is enormous, not only does it release the carbon dioxide contained within the human, but it releases dead flesh and flings it all over the surrounding area. This necessitates a cleaning crew that further contributes to the carbon footprint of the suicidal explosion.

Car bombs are even worse, they use what little fossil fuel we have left just to make an explosion. Once again, the amount of gases released is enormous. And, as a general rule among the terrorists, the bigger the explosion (i.e. the more gases released), the better the car-bomb was.

Environmentalists, I call upon you all to assist America in our valiant effort to cease these polluting actions. Join the Army today!

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.0 stars out of 5

  1. Why environmentalists should be fighting in Iraq

    Fyora Cartagan's Buddy Icon Fyora Cartagan

    Posted about 1 year ago

    Disclaimer 2: This is not meant to offend environmentalists or members of the American military. I support our troops, seriously.

  2. Why environmentalists should be fighting in Iraq

    blueyedwonder's Buddy Icon blueyedwonder

    Posted about 1 year ago

    haha…the sad thing is it sounds realistic enough for the army to use it (im canadian (living in texas; whattt??!!) so im not as big on the whole american patriotism thing)

  3. Why environmentalists should be fighting in Iraq

    Fyora Cartagan's Buddy Icon Fyora Cartagan

    Posted about 1 year ago

    I’m American, bred, born, and raised.I’ve never even been out of the country.
    But I hate American history, it bores me.

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