I know that we had only lived here a short time, but the smell, the water and every thing about the place already made me sick. I didn’t want to say anything because I knew that Johnny loved it, It covered up what he didn’t have as a kid. The beauty of it all was wonderful, and I knew that. That didn’t mean that I had to love the place.

Johnny knew that I loved him enough to hate him. So he knew that after that night I found him and Lucinda on the Viranda, that there was a deep hate boiling up in me. He said the only reason that it had happened was because I wasn’t home enough to satisfy his needs. “He was blaming me, that bastard!”

Even though we decided that we would stay together to try and make things work, I didn’t forgive what he had done to me. The love was gone and soon so would I.

As I remember the day before our wedding I wonder if he ever really loved me, or if it was all about the baby. That ended up in a miscariage .

Is that when all the trouble began?