I think I’ll be a cat next time. Lay around the house all day, be waited on, coddled and petted. Maybe shred an ugly couch or puke on those shoes that ain’t so cute.

But maybe not. I could be ferile; abandoned or lost. Fighting off dogs and racoons, dodging cars. And going in heat like that, I don’t think so. Not a cat.

Not a dog either. Dogs are okay as pets but to be one? “Duh, whaddya want? Wanna throw the ball, wanna play fetch? Let’s go for a walk…now... gotta pee.” No way.

A bird? Chirp, chirp, tweedle tweedle. Nah.

No farm animals. Not in this day and age. Mad Cow? Force fed. Artificial Insemination? Ick!

Most of the cool animals are going extinct so that’s no good. Man, how bad would that be…the last of your kind, ever. Especially if you ended up someone’s dinner in some fancy ass hotel. The Last Bowl of Turtle Soup in the Universe $5,000,000.00 Nope.

Hmm, maybe I should convert to Catholicism. Nah, eating the body of your god, too gross….