Damien and Jakob: City Streets

by Stovohobo

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The hectic bustle in the air was tangible on Damien’s lips. People jammed through spinning doors while a rush of bodies propelled down the sidewalk.

He sucked in a breath through his nose, delivering oxygen to his hyperactive brain. He scanned through all the exits, all the openings, but there weren’t many in this seething morass of people.

He patted the lump in his brown leather coat for reassurance, grasping the cold metal of the .45 tucked inside.

~

Jakob examined the crowd below him, the city’s foul air disturbing his face with a grimace. He scanned, back and forth, sweeping the busy street with his eyes, searching for the one man that could do him the most harm…

His acute eyes latched onto a brown leather coat, following its trail up past the collar, where a man’s dusty-black hair lay short against his vulnerable skull.

It was time…all he needed to do was wait for Damien to cross into the specified rendezvous…

He hoisted a slim Mauser up to eye level, aiming it below…

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.0 stars out of 5

  1. Damien and Jakob: City Streets

    blueyedwonder's Buddy Icon blueyedwonder

    Posted 11 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    hmm…interesting, leaves me wanting to know more…

  2. Damien and Jakob: City Streets

    Alexa ♥'s Buddy Icon Alexa ♥

    Posted 11 months ago

    3.0 out of 5 stars

    I don’t know. Might be too much happening in one Ficlet. You didn’t include your usual descriptiveness, so I had trouble imagining it all.

  3. Damien and Jakob: City Streets

    Stovohobo's Buddy Icon Stovohobo

    Posted 11 months ago

    Really? Durn. I was aiming for more description, trying a different style. Phooie.

  4. Damien and Jakob: City Streets

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 11 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Experiments are fun. It worked for me, but I’m a little concerned for all the innocent bystanders.

  5. Damien and Jakob: City Streets

    FlirtingWithaBrickWall's Buddy Icon FlirtingWithaBrickWall

    Posted 11 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    i liked it. a few less desc than your usual, but i didnt have any problems w/ it

  6. Damien and Jakob: City Streets

    [ wall.doll ]'s Buddy Icon [ wall.doll ]

    Posted 11 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    On the contrary, I thought it was pretty well described. Especially the “vulnerable skull” line.

    Loving the tone.

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