Beautiful setup, setting the mood quite well

ooh, scary! like it!

This is great work – great opening hook with “light fade into orange and purple and black until nothing could be distinguished but the occasional creak of the floorboards or muffled shout in the distance.” I do think that past and present tense are mixed together. Was that intentional? I think it would read even better if you stuck with one tense. Great work!

Hey, thanks. The tense thing is legit - the story’s narration occurs in the present tense but begins with a retelling of the events leading up till now. The protagonist is trying to remember what’s happened, when the feeling of blood dripping pulls him into the now and directs his focus to the crisis at hand. Sorry if that was confusing. :)

Oops, Ficlets formatting didn’t like the double hyphen! And I guess I can’t edit or delete old comments…

A flash of lightning burns an image in my soul and is gone

nice

suspenseful, a lot of your sentences were hauntingly well put togeher, the imagery was alive.

Liked this and it did set suspense and get me sympathetic with the character. Did not have a problem with the tenses.

This ficlet is amazingly good, Parker. Although it doesn’t surprize me since I’ve read your other ficlets and they are all extremely good. This one is very spooky.