The bathroom tiles were set in an alternating pattern—white, blue, white, blue…but today it was all spinning. The handle of the medicine cabinet, familiar, creamy colored china, seemed so far out of reach, so difficult to grasp. I couldn’t understand why everything seemed so alien. But when I pulled my hand back out of the cabinet, holding the blade, I knew.

My hand began to shake, causing my whole arm to tremble. The blade shone silver in the harsh lights.

Just one, I told myself. Just one, is all. Then I’ll be done.

The window-crack of blood that appeared on my wrist startled me, although I had known all along it would come. My eyes widened in pain, holding back tears that threatened to spill over. My breathing became ragged, in fear or pain I do not know.

The first narrow line was joined by another, and another. They bloomed out, blood cascading down my arm.

Oh, Anna, I whispered. What happened to just once?

And I pulled my sleeve down, vowing as always that this time would be the last.