You're Nobody in Hollywood Till Your 1st DUI
“It was a routine night in West Hollywood, never a dull moment I tell you. You just never know which celebrity, has been or wanna be, is gonna pull some stunt,” said officer Smith to the National Inquisitor hostess.
“Let’s run the tape of the encounter shall we,” said Mary Diamond, the hostess.
On screen: An obviously drunken Riefer Northerland (star of TV’s #1 hit show 48), yelling at the officers, in front of a wrecked red Ferrari. Not able to walk without falling down.
“I’m not inebri..inebria…I’m not drunk,” said Northerland, drunkenly.
They try to handcuff him, he yells incomprehensible ethnic slurs at them.
“Wha..wha..what the h..,” he falls on his face before he finishes the sentence.
The officers help him up.
“Do you kno..know who I am?,” Reifer says.
“We know sir, we watch 48 every week, your great in it”.
“Good, tel..tell me who I am ,cause I forget,” Riefer laughs. “Is thish gonna be on Youtube?”
“Most definitely,” the officer replies.
“Cool, I’ma shtar in another med..medium”.