A unique and creative approach to the challenge – lots of directions this one could go… Something pretty creepy about “little children summoned from below…” – that CAN ’T be a good thing!

Love the ryhmes in the story and I agree w/Yoda about the creepiness factor Children of the Corn always creeped me out!

I think you’re in the lead for sheer creepiness factor here…evil children are always extra creepy, something about violating are inherent belief that children are innocent and good a la Children of the Corn, Village of the Damned, or that early scene in Dawn of the Dead.

i agree with everybody. very nice job!!!

I enjoyed this. I think the integration of the rhyme was well-balanced with the narrative, and evil kids? Yeech.

o. my. god. rlly liked this one an im in the contest. amazing

Creepy. Good job. The poem really adds to it. I imagine it being sung by little children, like the creepiness in Ring Around the Rosies when you see a bunch of kids singing it for the first time after you’ve found out what it mean.

One thing, though. Rereading it, I found this inconsistancy: you use the word frigid and later say that she shivered “though it wasn’t cold.” Still, great job.

yes and i also say “cool night”

it sounds good and i was hoping no one would pick up on that LOL

oh well…not changing it not enough characters

plus i kinda like it the way it is…it has become my offspring lol

Its really good, I think. Its what I like to read.

Especially the ending.

Very Creepy. Only critique I had was the line they attacked her bloody should it be they attacked her, bloody or
they attacked and bloodied her. Loved the creepy sing song poetic verse

Thanks cainegreene but i have no moer characters lol…i had to phrase it awkwardly like that as I had limited characters left lol

but thanks for the comment

Congrats on winning the Halloween Challenge! I hadn’t had a chance to read this before. It’s wonderfully creepy! Well done.