Ficlets

Too Much Too Soon

‘It’s too much too soon,’ I thought, letting voice mail answer another one of Ben’s calls, his fifth in thirty minutes.
After months of dreading the mere sound of his name, this sudden persistant barrage of friendship was simply overwhelming.
And fighting the urge to rest my head on his shoulder, a nook I never grew out of, was exhausting. It was always the most comfortable spot I knew, the one thing that calmed me down, and it was always there, beckoning me to visit.
It’s like his whole body was taunting me. The familiarity of his lips, the contours of his sculpted arms, his captivatingly feminine eyes; I was a sucker for all of it.
‘How easy would it be just to crane my neck upwards and give him a little peck?’ I often catch myself thinking.
‘Just a friendly little peck on the lips..’
But I realize how absurd that sounds. Friends don’t kiss on the lips, no matter how much of a ‘peck’ it is.
Instead, I use my lips for other things.
Like faking smiles.
And saying yes, when my head screams, no.

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