you’ve broken up the sentences into fragments of sentences. try:

There is a girl in the car, her feet motionlessly resting atop the dashboard. The car screeches around the corner as two bright lights blindingly shine into the windshield.

i’m not saying that’s how you SHOULD do it, just my suggestion.

LOVE the plot though! note me when you sequel – i wanna see what happens =]

very good opener, makes the reader interested and want to know more.

Wow i love ittt
uh-mazing

from:skittles