‘Where is he?” I thought, anxiously fixing my hair in the reflection of the microwave, “He was supposed to be here ten minutes ago.”
I tried to remember the breathing excercises my personal trainer had taught me, but none of them were coming to mind. I was too busy thinking about something clever to say when I answered the door for him.
This mass hysteria was just the pre-cursor to another playdate with Ben. The next 3 hours would be an emotional rollercoaster for me and he would be none the wiser. He wouldn’t understand why I could barely look him the eye or notice my soft sigh when our knees brushed. He’d miss all the glances I’d steal of him from the corner of my eye and he’d never have any clue as to why I couldn’t control the slow spreading smile across my face. Because more important to me at the time than how I felt, was the second chance I had to have him in my life again. Just the sound of his voice reverberating off the walls of my home was enough to make me smile.
And keep my heart dead silent.