“When I was seven, I dreamt my closet was full of stringbeans. They enveloped me and I couldn’t breathe. When I was ten…” Dan stopped to collect his nerves.
“Would you classify this as an acute phobia?” The doctor asked loftily.
“Phobia? Are you suggesting medication?” Dan asked hopefully.
“Nooo! You definitely don’t need anymore medication. But, go on…”
“Oh… Fine, then. When I was ten, some kids shoved a bean up my nose. It was stuck in there until Christmas, and I was so afraid, that I threw up every 10-20 minutes… Well, those are all of the childhood ones. Shall I move on to pre-adolescence?”
“That won’t be necessary. Yes, I have enough information to classify this as ‘linophobia’. I am going to refer you to Dr…” He glaced at his clipboard. “Dr. Knutgunner B. Mutchhelp.”