Up and down, up and down. That’s me. I really hate it. Funny, really, because I love the roller coaster—this is my own personal one.

The doctor at this hospital said I have bipolar disorder. He says, sometimes it’s called manic depression. Manic, I guess, is for the parts where I’m really happy, or angry, or my out of control times, and the depression part, is, well, the depression part.

They put me on medication, Remeron, the psychiatrist called it, I think. I don’t know if it’s helping yet, but they say to give it time, and that I will be the last one to notice if anything is changing.

I just want to be normal again. I want to be the happy, carefree little girl that I used to be. I don’t know where she went, but I want her back. I know my mom does, too.

Bipolar disorder cannot be cured. But it can, however, be kept under control. And if I want that to happen, it’s up to me.