A prophet’s job is never done. I blame Cassandra, mostly. If she hadn’t been such a tease, we certainly wouldn’t have nearly as many problems today. And that hack Nostradamus, with his apparent conviction to single-handedly prove the million monkeys theory. But mostly that bitch Cassandra. It was Apollo for crying out loud! “Body like a Greek God” was the literal truth!

But I digress. Nowadays, the soothsaying is the easy part. The hard part is getting past the enormous credibility gap that the modern prophet has to overcome. Between historical precedent, blind-squirrel poseurs, and the laughable notion of free will it was downright impossible for a even the most reputable prophet to get the word out in today’s world.

Which is how I came to find myself in the sleek, modern Broadway offices of the Trout Group. I needed representation – media attention – in a hurry. Trout was the answer. I just know. It’s what I do, after all.