(Later that week.)

We were given outdoor suspension for a week, which would go on our permanent record, despite my tearful pleading. There went my brilliant plans for Yale. Not to mention my reputation – our school would be talking about this for months. I refused to answer any phone calls, even Brett’s. I refused to leave my house until the outdoor suspension was over, hoping that it would all blow over soon, as my mom promised, trying to soothe me.

Oh and the severed head? Purchased at the local costume store by none other than Stacy Walsh, Brett’s devoted girlfriend. Make that ex-girlfriend. She broke up with him after she found out what I was plotting to do with her boyfriend. That thankless ex-friend of mine, Lynette, went and blabbed everything to her. What a bitch.

So the severed head and the coitus interruptus were all part of Stacy’s plan. Her perfect revenge.

Stuck at home for a week, bored mindless and ignoring Brett’s annoying text messages (Y wont u call me?), I plotted my own revenge…