On ‘Funeral,’ Régine sings songs 3 and 6 and I cannot sing along with her: her voice is childlike and too high for me to reach. I like singing with Win – his voice is scratchy and I can join in the chorus. What kind of name is ‘Win’ anyway and what’d he do with my song?

That leaves 5, 7 and 8.

Remember that song about ‘Major Tom’? Not the original by Bowie. No, not the sequel in ‘Ashes to Ashes.’ I did not know Bowie in my youth: I was too young to know about the rise and fall of ‘Ziggy Stardust’ and had to experience it vicariously on Super-8 and through secondhand interviews on MTV . But I remember a whole song about ‘Major Tom’ like he led a different life or he was replaced one day with a whole other person with the same name. It’s not a modern-day cover by a modern-day band, either. Where did that song go? I fear ‘Major Tom’ got lost in the 80s with the rest my childhood memories. I cannot remember either and I mourn them now.