“Mnuuugh – “ Simon managed, and pointed at the stack of papers. Blake looked.

Some nuts had gone and hacked the Chicago Tribune, was the first thing he thought.

According to the main headline, the United States military and Iraqi insurgency had surrendered. To each other. And then they surrendered to some British troops, who had surrendered to a family of four in Baghdad, who’d happily surrendered right back at them. In Darfur, the years of drought had abruptly ended and eroded soil was producing an overnight crop yield the likes of which had never been seen. And just above the fold, incongruously, was a headline about healthy chickens.

Blake stopped one of the men. “Hey. Someone messed up your papers.â€?

“Whaddyamean?â€?

“These headlines, man. They’re all messed up,â€? Blake said. “They’re joke headlines. Everyone in Iraq surrendered?â€?

“What, you guys don’t have teevees?â€? the man said. “All th’ fightin’s stopped an’ the President’s gonna give us a buncha money.â€?