“Hey Luigi! Dis a guy wanna tofu inna his a stromboli!”

“Madona! Mario you gotta be kidding me. Who is a dis guy?”

“Vene qui! Scusi senor canna you tella my associate here whatta you want?” said Mario and winking to Luigi. The italian look of “hey youa not gonna believe dis.”

Robert was getting nervous now. He never had this problem back home in Los Angeles. “Sir. I can not have dairy products or meat so I would like tofu, mushrooms, onions and peppers.”

“Che fa! What is a dis tofu? Ain’t dat oriental stuff?” said Mario with obivous disdain.

“Yes sir.” quivered Robert.

“Chinatown is a couple blocks east. Luigi show dis guy whatta a sromboli is.”

“Ok. Guarda. Now look you take a da dough, spread just a little a sauce eh. Add mozzarella, lay da pepperoni and sausage on top. For you I adda da mushroom now you roll dis baby uppa, eh? We putta dis in the oven for ten minootz. OK?”

“Yes sir” replied Robert. The aroma! He could taste it before he served it.

“Now, that’s a stromboli!”