Interesting, though some things are left unexplained here – it left me wondering who the mysterious “she” is. Are you planning on writing a sequel?

Definitely a strong combo of color and story elements. The beginning has some grammar/punctuation stuff that is a bit confusing, like in that first sentence of the story bit.

Yeah, the first sentence is a little confusing. And like Ana Christina said…a few things left unsaid. Nice story, though!

I hope you write a sequel, I would love to read it.