“What did you say squirt?” A thing shaped like a mascot presented itself from the bleachers, bounced off a mini-tramp, executed an athletic three pike twist and landed delicately on the boundary fence.
A drunk man replied “He said somefink bout wed sox..”
“Let me tell you something about our beloved red sox..” The Mascot continued, proudly lifting his pinstripe britches high above his belt and tilting a sock shaped head towards the spangled banner. “50 stars and stripes. That’s what this team’s about. Glory, honour, hotdogs, drunk hooligans and bbqs in the carpark. That’s the red sox. You say sukk – I say SUKK YOU !” The crowd sat silent now, captivated, many on the edge of their seats, some toppled on the floor in excitement.
“What’s more,” Said the mascot, “If the Red Sox ever cease to exist the glorious game of baseball will crumble like an old cheesecake. So if you like dessert then rethink your words my friends, rethink your thinking and get back to me less ugly.”