The abandoned teddy bear unwillingly stared at the sidewalk. You would not imagine all the “stuff” people do when they think nobody’s watching. It sighed in its mind. “Everybody is too busy stepping on gum then to pick up an inanimate object like me,” it thought. Out of no where, a middle aged brunette with freckles tripped over her left foot and feel on the sidewalk. “Ow,” she said. “No duh,” thought the teddy bear. “I don’t have a nervous system and I felt the vibrations.” Meanwhile, (as the teddy bear criticized the woman’s brain,) the brunette stared at the abandoned teddy bear. She picked herself up along with the teddy bear. “Well look what I found here,” she exclaimed to herself. The no longer deserted teddy bear, although grateful, thought, “Gee, my so-called life is in the hands of an idiot.”