nice ficlet, that hotel really did sound gross
eeeeek!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nice job, but it sorta jumps around a bit, hard to follow. nice plot though =]

Nifty. It’s a bit jumpy, but it has uses all the terms and items well. The only one that feels forced is the name of a favourite book or poem etc. – and I had trouble with that too.

However, the format is interesting. It’s halfway between a freeform poem and a story, and it catches me. Grammatical errors aside, the format works really well, but I can’t explain why.

Would love to help you edit this, and see what emerges – note me if you like.