You did an excelent job on this part of the story. It really gets the reader interested to the extent where they feel like they’re actually seeing what’s happening, yet they’re not part of the story. It appears as a movie flashing before the reader’s eyes. Once again, good job.

I like it, a very solid introduction to a new character in our attempt at a NaNoWriMo epiclet. Look, I made up a word! Awesome!