Working in the accordion mines sucks.

A mile underground is where most of’em live, weaving through the tunnels in the rock. It’s hot. It’s dank. The noise is horrendous, even when it’s not breeding season. Men go mad weekly. But the money is fantastic, so few complain.

Did I just hear you right? Is it dangerous? Those Alaskan fishermen have nothin on us. Not an effin’ thing.

Just last week, down in Hawkins drop, you know… over in shaft 4, three of my guys got stuck ‘tween a fully grown adult female and her keylings. Call for help went out on the radio, but they were so far down…it was too late. We all knew it. Two hours later we found them, the keylings eatin’...wasn’t nuthin much left. Chased’em off with the ‘burners. The female threatened us as she left, her bellows the size of car tires when she fully inflated. Noise like a freight train…

Had to identify the remains by their dental records. Their effin’ dental records!

So yeah, it’s dangerous. Is that all yer questions? I got a mine to run.