Nicely written, but I thought John Marshall was the dad, or at least that’s how I’d been writing it. Perhaps we’re all on different pages. In any case, I had O’Neil down as the love interest for Penny. Oh, the trickiness of collaboration.

LoA

This is good, but I have to wonder who Penny is talking to when she says “Mamma hadn’t slept this late since…”—seems like an awkward thing to mouth to oneself and no one else is around but her sleeping mother. Perhaps I’m just out of the loop on the story.

ok I revised it
the line is a thought, she’s worried about her mother