Once, I was whole.

I was a provider. I loved, I laughed, and I cared.

Once, I was a man.

I go through the motions, as though blind.
My heart has grown numb.
Rash and foolish man.

I have forgotten what it means to love, to laugh, to care.

I look back at a time. A time long since past. I stand motionless for a while, then move on.

My direction is gone and my beliefs have been pried from my hands by a breeze. Passion is a stranger; my fire has died. My dreams are no more. Nothing is left of that which made me a man.

I “live” a “life” of routine. Each day as predictable and as insipid as the last.

I have one piece left that I clench.
It wont let me end the suffering. The pain that is seated deep in my core is kept fresh. Somehow, I must continue to pay for my sins.