“Heyy guysies. I think we’re all in need of Miss FYP Therapy, don’t you think?”

“Def.” they chant.

“Alright, we all remember how Miss Fix Your Problem Therapy works, right? You tell me your side of the story,” I glance at Lynde, “and you tell me yours.” I motion to Hannah. “Then, I give you advice that you will treasure and cherish for your entire life.”

I heard a snicker, but decided to ignore it – they’ll regret it, whoever it was, once they bask in the greatness of my advice.

I place my hands in the medititation pose, make o’s with my fingers, and lower my voice to that of the soothing Pilates teacher on the MTV chemercials.

Now, take a deep breath, gently place your left foot behind your right ear, and relaaaaxx..

“Now, everybody take a deep breath, gently exhale, relax, and explaaaainn.”