I watched my baby’s face as I submerged him under the water. He looked too much like his father, I couldn’t stand it.

At first he smiled and, I can imagine, he cooed into the water and splashed around a bit. He thought I was playing with him, like I always had during his bath…

It saddened me, I wished it could be over right then, it would be the best for him and me.

If only he could have gone happy…

But, his lungs finally communicated to his brain that he could not breathe water.

He began to thrash about. I looked away, holding my grip, but unable to hold my eyes and watch him struggle to survive.

I had hoped his last thought of me would be a happy one, and far in the future…But this was for the best.