The “pristine manicured” lawn is at odds with the disarray in the home. Consider changing your description so that it gives your reader a clue of what awaits inside the house, or make the contrast make sense. Other than that, it’s really powerful. I could really sympathize with your characters.

yeah…I’ll need to figure that out. In my mind she has a gardener cuz she’s not doing it herself ;)

OK, now it makes sense. :D I still think (always did) it’s a really powerful story. Good job. It’s not easy to cram so much story in 1,024 characters. I know cus I cheat all the damn time and write sequels. >:)

yeah, when in doubt just say it, eh? Thanks for the feedback and suggestions.