I was a little confused, and still can’t get a grip, on who is talking to whom, about whom.(ex. “John, how long have you known Jeff?â€?, Ray asked.”) Then you mention a guy named Kevin, and of course, there is Jessica. That means we have John, Jeff, Ray, Kevin, and Jessica all introduced in two ficlets. See what I mean? I’m not sure you need to introduce five characters so quickly.

I do like your tech-speak, however. Reminds me of Michael Crichton.

The problem is that four of the characters are already there, but three are anonymous, since I started with only Kevin in the first bit to keep the dialog moving. So I was using this piece to give them names… and yes, after a re-reading I see that it confuses more than it expands.

So many places to take this…where should I begin?