Yeah I fell down a bit on the twist part of the challenge (this is the first challenge I’ve tried :) ) but I figured the situation itself was semi-shocking. Then again, I’m no M. Knight :) Fun challenge anyway though.
Your dialogue is convincing. As I read I felt like it was two people talking and not just one person writing. This is a great little story. Continue, I’d like to read the outcome.
Your first challenge? Well, whether or not you followed the specifics with a twist ending or not, the result is a well written and compelling ficlet. Great job!
This story is utterly chilling. I am a little confused about exactly what happened… the stammerer was suicidal (and his friend half-expected this day would come) but before he is able to take his own life, he’s killed in a car crash? Is that right? It’s certainly a surprising twist, but it feels very incongruent with the tone leading up to it. Maybe the transition could be smoothed out a bit? Still, excellent writing—you did a great job. Thanks for entering my challenge!
Basically, the story is that James is very high, and suicidal. His side of the convo is incoherent rambling with only little hints to his friend of what’s really going on – he’s taken a lot of pills and is basically fading out. His friend who got is rushing to get to him and save him, but he’s too late. The crash is James falling and breaking something, meaning he’s passed out and close to death before his friend makes it to him. But damn, the car crash idea WOULD have been a great twist for this challenge.
someday_93
Melia
Tad Winslow
THX 0477
uselessness
Melia