Ooh, ooh! I like this. I like it a lot! I love the emotion your character shows, and how this series has an eerie sci-fi feel to it.

Yes, your description of the red faced man spewing spittle as he screamed really made me see him and his emotion clearly.

Vocab is strong too. i.e. languish, acrid bile, placid, pseudo, pristine.

I like the direction you’re taking this in…