I held the tiny toy robot up to my face, locking my eyes with his glowing LED . “Is this explanation gonna disturb me?”

The tiny toy robot penguin-walked across my palm with a buzz. “I hope not.”

“Okay, shoot. But first I need another smoke.” I pulled out a butt, feeling around for the lighter that seemed to teleport itself every three seconds from pocket to pocket.

The tiny toy robot lifted a very small arm and shot forth a flame. “Thanks,” I said, puffing the tip to life.

“Thank you! To assist humans embracing carbon neutrality allows me maximum fulfillment of my pleasure potential.”

“Huh,” I temporized. I took a drag and exhaled through my nose. “So I don’t own a car and ya’ll do me favors?”

“Exactly.”

“Where did ya’ll come from?”

“Space. The League of Ecologists is trying to modify human behavior without resorting to more forceful methods.”

“How nice. So how many tiny toy robots are we looking at?”

The robot buzzed, and then said in his lilting voice, “Oh, about 200 billion.”