I can’t talk long and I don’t have much time, so just shut up and listen. This is important and while I understand this must seem very bizarre to you we really can’t waste a single second here. I’ve already wasted time saying this bit, and this sentence isn’t helping the matter either.

They’re coming. They’ve found you. They’re going to follow you to the ends of the Earth and they won’t stop until they have what you took from them. They’ve been ordered not to kill you, but that won’t stop them killing others to get to you, or by taking it back from you by force. They’re ruthless, amoral, efficient, and very single-minded. Much like our ex-girlfriend.

Speaking of which, she’s going to try and pull the “Maybe we could give it another shot” act on you later. Don’t fall for it. She’s not working with them or anything, she’s just a heartless cowbag with all the morals of a tapeworm.

Your best bet is to head north and meet up with Ted. Not only is he clever, but he also has a killer home entertainment setup. Go!