Miriam stopped hacking her way through the undergrowth. She had seen something following her through the forest. It was always hovering in her peripheral vision, darting behind a bush when she turned. It had been there for about an hour now.

Miriam threw her machete to the ground, wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand and sighed, loudly.

“All right, come out. I know you’re there”.
“Um, hello”, said the unicorn.
“Why are you following me?”
“You’re a virgin, and I have chosen you as my rider.”
“I’m not.”
“Not what?”
“A virgin.”
“Are you sure?”
“Pretty much.”
“Oh, bugger.”
“Yes, well. If that’s all, can you go away? I’ve got a lot of hacking to do.”
“I’m the last unicorn, you know.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Well, the last one in these parts.”
“No, I saw another one yesterday.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t a rhino? Or an antelope?”
“In Essex?”
“Oh. You must be mistaken, I am quite definitely the last unicorn in this forest.”
“What’s that over there?”
“Bugger.”
“Bye, then.”

Miriam hacked on.