The pair were, quite possibly, the ugliest the waitress had ever seen. First, there was the woman. Thin red hair pulled back in a ponytail, large brown eyes (All brown, mind you. No White.), no figure to speak of, and most horrid of all, green skin. It was a sickly, pale green too- the ugly mint of hospital walls and old folk’s homes.

And then there was the baby.

The waitress had never seen a child so unattractive. It’s misshapen head was far too large for its body, hairless, and lumpy. The cute little propeller hat did nothing for it. Its eyes were mismatched in size, its body squat, its limbs stumpy… three limbs. One arm seemed to be missing entirely. It cooed and drooled on the table, and seemed to be eating the crayons that came with the kid’s menu.

“You ain’t diseased or anything, are you…?” the waitress asked, eying the two.

“No. Thank you, we are quite healthy. And we would like to eat… toast. And eggs please.” The woman’s voice echoed oddly, and the waitress hurried off to place the order.