Five Things No One Has Had the Guts to Tell Me:

1. Wow…you’re good-looking.

2. I read your last novel and it was brilliant.

3. Without you, Ficlets would just dry up and blow away like dust on a deserted road leading to a dying town where nothing happens but old men and children sleep and dream of having something to read that you have written just for them.

4. I heard that Scalzi is jealous of you.

5. Your fly is open.