1. My life would be so much easier if I quit grad school and just got a job and settled in somewhere. However, I’m too afraid of failure to ever think of any other options.

2. I’ve said for so long that I’m never going to get married or have kids, that I’m afraid to seriously reevaluate my feelings on the issue in case they’ve changed.

3. Despite the fact I’ve been a vegetarian for 12 years, I still sometimes have the urge for a Big Mac.

4. I get a sick satisfaction from surfing Facebook to seeing how poorly people have aged since high school, and feel smugly superior when I hear I’m more successful than them.

5. Somewhere in my mind, I’m still hoping that my career as an archaeologist will somehow resemble that of Indiana Jones.