Every day, Robert’s alarm clock would go off at precisely 6:00am. And every day, Robert would wake up at approximately 5:58am, roll over and wait for the alarm go off. He hated this. What, really, was the point of owning an alarm clock if his own internal body clock was waking him up in time to hear the bloody thing go off? He dare not turn it off, though. He knew that the day he turned his alarm clock off would be the day he didn’t get up those few minutes before 6am.

He’d usually hit the Off button instantly. It was a radio alarm clock, tuned into the only station he could receive from his rather oddly placed home, and the breakfast show left something to be desired. Mostly it was four hours of some git being a complete and utter git to other gits, purely for giggles. Occasionally they’d play a song. More often than not they’d end up playing “Toxic” by Britney Spears, and Robert could think of better things to do. Bungee-jumping into the Grand Canyon without a rope was one idea that came instantly to mind.