Ficlets

This alien abduction crap is starting to tic me off

Lookee here- I know we all got our jobs to do. And I’m not trying to be all in your face and whatnot- but this stealing people in the middle of the night thing is really starting to burn my griddle- if you know what I mean.

I’m sure you’re just following orders from your high commander and they’re bustin’ your balls about your probe quota or whatever.

But man, why my truck route from New Mexico to Nevada always gotta be interrupted with the damn blue lights and electric pulses and freakin’ blackouts?

I got a job to do, too, you know. And my boss is bustin’ my balls about my rounds being eight hours behind schedule four times straight!

And what am I supposed to tell him? Some retarded green midget took me for a probing and a show last night. Again. Sorry boss, I’m sure you understand.

No, siree. My boss will not fall for it, ‘specially since I had to take time off last month for that mermaid I found in my tub.
Now that was some probing I could be proud of.

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