I would like it quite a bit better if you had new paragraphs for each quote, considering it’s hard to tell who is speaking all of the time. Still, entertaining.

Is that any better?

I like it. It’s cute. You should sequel.♥

omg is that bout me nd red shoes if it is i told u it was a bus stop nd he doesnt’ kno my name u shud write the sequeal bout the time in arbeys lolzzz luv red shoes!

well uhm mary u need 2 get ovr the fact that he dusnt know yer name bcuz in my ficliverse he duz. lol luv yah.

haha HE WILL KNO MY NAME