“I need you to find me…A Virgin, female, velociraptor.”

Lucifer VI looked up at the deity and raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth as if to say something.

“Don’t. Don’t ask why, just do it, off with you now.”

Some inter-species human-deity/reptile reproduction, a few well-placed prophetic dreams, a no vacancy sign at an inn, some maiasaura shepherds, a large ball of fire in the sky, and three wise stegosauruses later, and the Raptor Christ Child was born.

God-Simon twiddled his holy thumbs as he waited for Raptor Jesus to age to the point where he was ready to understand what Simon needed him to do.

As the young male velociraptor aged in super-speed mini-Earth v5 time, Simon pondered his next step, with his guardian mini-Earth v4 T-Rex by his side.

Finally, after about twelve mEv5 years, Simon’s voice boomed from a bush he had smitten.

“Jesus.” Simon almost shuddered, himself, at the power of that name. “I am your father.“