Wow. Ever so powerful. Hail, hail, hail; you are a wonderful writer. Maybe, perhaps, you could add me? lol. 5 stars, and great job :)
-Cat the Dancing Mouse

OK, I am here to comment and also to challenge you. I think the first line gives too much away. I want to finish reading this and then make that conclusion for myself. I like where you start in the second paragraph better. Let’s hear more about Lucy!

I agree, with anonymom, you give a perfect visual description without the lead senetence telling us, you did better showing us that she is very disturbed. ecxellent.

wonderfully written. You really get a sense for the plight of this young child. I hope there is going to be more about this lil girl.

I edited the first line out, guys, about her being disturbed. I added a line at the end, but feel unsure if I like it. I kind of like ending it with Who is she?

There really must be more to her than meets the eye…keep going!

I agree with the “who is she?” as being the better way to end…until the next installment!