“We need to replace your I.V.”

“What? But I haven’t even gotten my sponge bath yet, nurse! I like the way you do it… It does things to me.”

“Sir… I’m straight.”

“Oh. What a shame. You’re pretty cute.”

“Thanks. Don’t get any ideas, though. I have a girlfriend.”

“Ah, she’d never know.”

(Uncomfortable stare)

(R.N. changes I.V.)

(Exeunt R.N.)

The patient sighs heavily. “I’ll never find someone… Ooo, that doctor! I WANT HIM …”