Jenna’s New Year’s resolutions:
1. Lose weight.
2. Stop using foul language.
3. Stop trying to eat my best friends.

This list of “my” resolutions was composed by one of my best friends, Morgan. But I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike eating people! They taste good! Like seagull. Seagull’s better than chicken, therefore, humans do not taste like chicken. And it’s not like I ever really get a big bite! Just a nibble every now and then! Is that so wrong?

Yes.

Forget you, little voice in the back of my head. I never have liked you, you call me white trash!

Well? You eat your friends!

Doesn’t make me white trash!

The voice shuts up and I start to laugh, crossing out number three. I’m not going to stop eating people…. although maybe my best friends aren’t the best of choices.