Don’t worry, I suffer from number one as well.

purple rocks.. its so much better than pink. there should be a club.

number 5 makes you normal

I agree there should be a support group for number 2, for I suffer from the same. —We recently bought a vehicle, and on that particular day, I collected a total of 6 pens. Mind you, I did ask if I could keep the pen I signed the paperwork with; even got one that was a “special” pen, (the credit union had recently changed its name and only the workers had the heavy, fine point, metal, black ink writing machine. I was in pen stealer’s heaven.) ;) Though. I did have permission.

aarrrrrrrrr, you have all the makens of a pirate ye like shiny ting, ye likes to arm yerself(pen is mightier than the sword),The color purple is the color of royalty and royalty has lots of loot, and the last ye are completly obsessed with loot and plunder, so welcome abord yer no land lubber.