1. I am more addicted to lying than I will ever be to the blunts, spliffs, forties, or fifths.

2. My arrogance has hollowed me into one of the most jealous bastards I know.

3. My life would be so much more whole if adolescent love didn’t revolve around the fact that pussy feels so fucking good.

4. I will never realize my full potential because my will power fails at the first sign of adversity.

5. God does not exist, and when I die, there will be no liberation of soul from flesh, no ascension to Heaven.