It was Monday. It was no holiday nor was it anyone’s birthday, but the morning was different for two very particular reasons: I was really, for the first time, fully awake at 8am, and I had the barrel of my gun pressed into the right temple of my boss’ head.

Okay, so maybe I should have mentioned that part first.

After 8 years and countless lies, I had really grown tired of programming. The broken promises about raises, the outright lies about promotions, and the emotional manipulation when she forced up crocodile tears to make me “trust” her all came to a head when she announced, just an hour ago, that the company had decided (“against my better judgment,” she had tearfully said) to close our satellite office and “consolidate” the corporation in the home state of Texas.

No one was making me go to Texas. Those liars always said they’d leave this office open and not make us relocate. I figured that, if they really wanted to feel Texas, I’d just shove a gun in her face. It worked.

I have her full attention.