My home ec teacher is insane. Mrs. Megroot’s a wrinkled, hip old lady with red cat’s eye glasses and coordinating embroidered clogs. She knits all her own socks and sews most of her clothes. She looks like a walking JoAnn Fabrics.

So today she decides we will be finger knitting for the next few days. “It’s all the rage in the craft world!” she exclaims excitedly Monday morning.

A wave of groans sweeps over the class. “Oh, come on!” Mrs. Megroot says. “I would’ve liked to teach you real knitting, but unfornunately the school board won’t fund the purchase of knitting supplies. So you’ll learn this way, whether you like it or not.”

“This is SO unfair!” jockaholic Osveen Stevens complains, a basketball spinning on his finger.

“Osveen, if you can do that with your basketball, you must be good with your fingers. You have no choice. We’re learning to finger knit.”